14 Things that people with depression really want you to know
Living with someone who suffers from depression can be complicated, especially as it is a disease that is still poorly understood. We do not know what to say or how to act. However, if you want to help a loved one who is going through the problem, see below what is important to know, according to the patients themselves:
1. I have depression and I do not feel sadness.
Yes, feeling deep sadness is one of the symptoms, but depression is not just about that one aspect. The disorder may be accompanied by several other feelings, such as irritability, anxiety, anxiety or fear, for example. The feeling of sadness is experienced by anyone at some point, but it is fleeting. Depression can last for months, years and even be a chronic condition, so it requires adequate treatment.
2. Do not ask me to "get out of this"
One of the most inconvenient things to say to someone with depression is, "get out of this". This sounds as if you are decreasing the severity of the other person's condition, it brings a very simplistic tone to something really serious. Understand, no one can simply get out of depression, one should seek medical help.
3. I will not always have a reason to be depressed.
Depression can affect anyone and is a disease. That way, if you know someone with this problem, do not try to find concrete reasons that might have left the person in that condition. Contrary to popular belief, psychological and social factors are often the consequence and not the cause of depression.
4. I am moving away because I like you and I do not want to make you sad
Friends and family suffer a lot to see someone dear to face depression, mainly because they can not find ways to help. Often this causes the person suffering from the disease to walk away from everyone, speak things that they do not intend to say, and even deal aggressively with those around them.
5. My goals may seem banal, but they are important to me.
Get out of bed, talk to someone about what you are feeling, or even straighten your hair. These simple actions, unimportant to many people, are often considered true achievements of those who suffer from a more severe depression. It is important to understand how important it is to the other person and be happy about this new step towards recovery.
6. I can have happy times, even with depression
For those who suffer from depression, most days are complicated. But not all. There are times when a person can feel good and have fun. The truth is that there is an oscillation of humor, which causes many people to doubt the seriousness of this problem. Someone with the disorder may be able to go out with friends and laugh for a few hours, which makes it seem like nothing is wrong. But the depression is still there.
7. I am not a weak person
It is common to find those who believe that depression is a sign of weakness. People think, "Last week I felt really sad too, but I'm over it." The problem is that those who have depression feel things different from you, that had a bad day. On the other hand, those who know the disease say that those who suffer from depression are even stronger people, because they would have endured their feelings for a long time until they reached the point of rupture, where they really need help. . Depression is not synonymous with medicines
People diagnosed with depression should not take medication. And if they do, it does not mean that the symptoms of the problem will disappear from one day to the next. In fact, the negative view of the remedies, often used by people who do not need them, causes many patients not to want to medicate, afraid of the way they will be seen by family and friends.9. No need to "step on eggs" to talk to me
Of course you should be careful not to offend or hurt a loved one who is depressed, but nothing to exaggerate. The best gesture you can do for a friend who suffers from this problem is simply to be the friend you have always been to him. Being present and being a listening listener can also be good.
10. I do not need to occupy my head and I'm not lazy
In depression, discouragement and loss of desire to get out of bed or perform activities are not generated by laziness, but by the lack of motivation that the person feels. It is as if all the simple actions of day to day lose their reason, their meaning. And this also happens with activities that the person loved to do.
11. We Can Talk about Many Issues Beyond Depression
When you meet someone who lives with the problem, some people just want to talk about it. However, those who have depression often want to think of anything but depression.
12. Your words do me good
It can be very difficult to know what to say and what to do to help in this situation. However, gentle words do well, even if the person can not demonstrate how much he liked what he said. Demonstrating gratitude for the act can be difficult, but deep down the message will be saved and will aid in the recovery process.
13. It's not because something worked for someone else, it should work for me too.
Physical exercises, essential oils, medications, pets. Through the stories of others with depression, friends and relatives begin to suggest the most varied treatment options and, of course, with the best of intentions. But this generates a certain expectation in everyone, especially in the person who suffers with the problem. So think carefully before you come up with a suggestion and be patient, as it may not work as well as the other person.
14. I'm striving to improve
Recovery is not something you decide, go there and do. Depression is not something that can be ignored as life goes on. So the best way to find the solution is by seeking specialized medical help, either with therapy and / or medication. In this long process, your participation is very important, supporting and staying present.
I love hot and hot baths. Let no dermatologist listen to me! Last week the central heater of my house went into crisis. It did not work at all. I got in touch with the maintenance service and scheduled a technician for Saturday between 9:00 am and noon. The time passed and nothing from the technician arrived.
In my last article, I talked about how some situations are sexist in our day to day life and I explained why they represent a machismo. Unfortunately, this kind of difference is also reflected in relationships. Here are some of the following situations and understand better: Requiring and expecting women to have a "perfect body" This thinking is a macho culture, the man who demands, snakes, seeks, comments, sees, and selects the woman based on her body, because in this idea the woman is not seen or understood by who she is, she is not a being or a person, but only an object, a piece of something that serves to be desired and devoured, with to fulfill the pleasures and fantasies of men.