6 Attitudes to help overcome a term
"So, I repeat, when we have done everything to get a love, and failed, there is only one way left, that of nothing else to do," Clarice Lispector. This phrase reminds me of a patient who in a beautiful session verbalized: "Why it is so difficult to understand that he liked me, he does not like it, it is up to me to deal with this fact."
No one is forced to like people and wanting each other around. We are not obligated to anything, unless we want to be compelled. Rejection is something unbearable, but that somehow puts us before ourselves.
For Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, the human being is born prematurely, in a condition of absolute dependence and seeks protection from an early age. Not knowing how to deal with this helplessness brings conflict in all sorts of relationships, especially in relationships, and leads millions of people to mental health practices that are very harmful to mental health.
Many couples mingle and lose identity. Do not know who is who in the relationship anymore.
In any case, if you are not dealing well with a termination, there are attitudes that can help deal with this bereavement:
- Look for the things you did when you were single and gave you pleasure
- Do not create fantasies, live today, and today you are separated
- If you are finished, value yourself and do not phone, send message or follow it on the nets. You are finished and it will be important to keep physical and virtual distance.
- Friendship none needs to be forced, even more so with an ex. So give time to time and if the friendship happens it will be because they both want
- Do you really need the next week of separation to go to the bar they loved to go together? Perhaps this brings more suffering to the grief period that needs to be worked out. Do not avoid suffering. No one starts a relationship wanting the end of it. And that end hurts, no matter how much we yearn for it.
- Seek to know yourself better and to turn to your questions. Try not to embark on a new relationship right away.
You'll find a person just as good or better than him, yes. Just think about what you've done as bad in the relationship that has brought emotional distress.
You know that trip or even a city change that you often thought of doing, scheduled and gone. Only you can chase after your dreams and projects.
Do not let the end of a relationship crumble what you think about yourself. Being what the other wants, can bring low self-esteem, irritability, anxiety symptoms and depression. You have your value, even if people do not see it. You are unique in your way of being and author of your own existence!
Then go ahead and resignify your story, because as one phrase of an unknown author says "one day longing stops being pain and becomes story to tell and keep forever "!
Psychoanalysis after Freud. Bleichmar and Bleichmar. Medical Arts, 1989.
Psychoanalytical Foundations. David E. Zimerman. Artmed, 1999> .
When a couple receives from the doctor the diagnosis of infertility and indication of treatment, does not have the slightest idea of what has become an assisted reproductive technique. Both believe that as soon as they start treatment, they will have the long-sought child in their arms. However, the reality is not always the same.
But leaving aside the irony, let's look at the reality that I see daily in the office: men and women complaining about the lack of parameters to guide their relationships. One of the most common marital conflicts today is one related to the "right to happiness," which each member of the couple demands of the other and the relationship as if it were a prize.