6 Tracks for you to find out if you're ready for therapy
Sometimes sadness is such that we can not imagine anyone capable of understand why we feel this way. It does not feel like talking to that best friend, who always hears everything, but ... Yeah, you already killed the charade. The problem is right there: you talk, she hears. And everything remains the same, that is, everything indicates that all this storm can repeat itself again later. Since you can not even set up a dome and live in isolation from the problems, how about a better deal with them? It is not a miracle, much less a medicine.
"It provides a safe haven for patients to reveal themselves as fully as possible. More than that, it offers them the experience of being accepted and understood after a deep exposure," he said. writes Irvin Yalom, a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University and author of The Challenges of Therapy - Reflections for Patients and Therapists (Ed .; $ 39.90). help you identify if it's time to combine those long and irreplaceable! - hours with her best friend with a more specialized support, throwing far away all this terrible weight that, at one time or another, insists on landing on her back.
1. Will. Only this one Reason is enough for you, at least, to look for a therapist. But regardless of the curiosity that justifies the interview (that's how the psychologist calls his first conversation with him, usually free), goodwill is critical to the success of any such treatment. That's because in order to change what's bothering you, you have to be willing to listen to what the expert has to say - which does not mean agreeing on everything at all. But if you are not even motivated to start, take a deep breath and wait.
2. Your problems are always the same. You do not notice, but you end up reacting in the same way to most situations. Result? Without noticing, we cause terribly uncomfortable events to be repeated over and over again. Since only complaining is no good, a good therapist will tear up all of that ball and identify where the knot is, helping you to break the behavioral patterns that give rise to your suffering.
3. Desire to change. That pebble has been in your shoe for years and you do not understand how it came to be. Great, you already have a point that explains - and very well! - a visit to the psychologist: something is bothering you. The question now is to know what seems most enjoyable: remove it from the stone (although, perhaps, you find that it sucks when you take off your shoe) or continue walking a little maniac for a while longer. Stirring in your feelings is not easy and can cause great discomfort, especially in the beginning.
4. Be ready to listen You think that starting therapy is just a letting go the language and come out talking all their problems? That's it, too. But not only. Of course the psychologist needs to know what's going on in your head. But relax a little and listen to what he has to say. Here is one of the main differences between a conversation with your friend and a therapeutic session: in the latter, no one will judge or criticize you, or talk about what to do. The specialist will take an X-ray of the situation and show, in detail, how everything happened to get there. The next step is with you.
5. In the beginning, the psychologist's role can be compared to that of an ophthalmologist: it is as if he chooses the right lens in his case, helping to see the problems (and joys) of the exact size that all this has for you - and more, it will show you where the parameters used come from when setting those measurements. Why do you get so devastated when you get criticized, no matter how small? And why do you feel uncomfortable when you hear a compliment, no matter how deserved it is? Get ready to ponder such questions. 6.
Adjusting Your Wills In a very simple way, therapy serves as a kind of map that reveals a great treasure: what you really want. Often your will is different from what your father, mother, husband, children (or whoever else is important in your life) have in relation to you. But in everyday life everything goes into a great cauldron of desires and, without knowing how to differentiate one thing or another, frustration sets in - it is not easy to give up what you want in the name of what others think you are the most appropriate. In the beginning, it's no use hiding, it's going to give you a little fear of facing this squad that for a long time has defined the right and wrong of your dictionary. But this passes, and when you least expect it, you will already have found the strength to assume that your desires are actually different from those that have projected upon you. And, believe me, no one will stop loving you because of it.
When you are laid off, you need attention and some care. Every transition causes strangeness, and even when this transition is unexpected, it causes immense frustration. And, like all unexpected things, it causes a series of reactions. Work is an important variable in building identities. Starting from the premise that the individual constructs an image of himself at work and consequently in the organizational environment, his involuntary disconnection can mean a dilemma in his trajectory.
Shyness is an innate feeling of the human being. From infancy to adulthood - and even into old age - she does not choose the moment to appear. Whether it's a birthday party, a stage before an audience, or a flirting approach, it comes out overwhelmingly and paralyzing. His definition is a fear and an exaggerated fear to expose himself and consequently receive some kind of judgment.