9 Feelings that are more important than love in a relationship
In a loving relationship it is fundamental that there is love. However, just loving is not enough. Maybe in the movies and in literature affection is enough for the couple to be happy, but real life is not so cinematic - at least not the way they sell it to us. Therefore, it is necessary for the relationship to be nourished by other feelings so that the partnership makes sense. For example, you can love your boyfriend when they are in romantic times alone. But if you disagree when matters of practical life come into play as a division of the household chores.
Or, you are even partners, who will do the cleaning and who will cook, but when they sit down to talk about future plans each one demonstrates a different project. Does this mean absence of love? Probably not, but it shows that there is no goal compatibility.
Balancing the expectations and offerings of a relationship is not a math task, but it is not abstract either. And it's worth remembering that each couple has their needs and priorities that need to be mutually talked about. Below you find some elements that need to exist so that the relationship works beyond love.
According to the psychologist Milena Gonçalves Lhano, for a loving relationship to work, trust is essential. When we are in a relationship, we lower our guard and give our feeling to a person. At first, when we fall in love, we are not always guaranteed that the other will respect our feelings. It is from the building of trust, for example, that we feel secure in lowering our guard to allow this person to access our vulnerabilities.
Furthermore, trust has to do with being and letting the other be to enjoy freedom without this being a cause of crisis. Trust is the antidote to possessiveness. A couple who enjoys this feeling can respect the individuality of the other and can continue to love, even if often from a distance.
Each of those involved in a love relationship has its own essence and complexity. As people do not come with instruction manual, it is from the honesty that the couple comes to have confidence, comes to believe that the other is telling the truth. Honesty facilitates communication, a key factor for these two coexisting universes to connect and understand each other. Honesty shows, among many things, that there is respect - first with you and then with the other. For the relationship to be good is also important to have self-esteem.
Having an affective relationship implies living with the lights and shadows of another person. In other words, not every day will be good, easy, or will make you want to keep forever in the memory. But if there is mutual respect, even though there are difficult times, it is possible to know that even if the moods change, care will be taken when talking to the other. Respect is the feeling that allows us to disagree with the other without neglecting our dignity.
Before people are couples, they are individuals. Everyone is alone in their own skin and will always be like this. However, communication is an important tool that enables each one to express what he thinks, feels and craves. It makes real the possibility of exchange and of each one put in the relation. While love brings subjectivity and impetus to feelings, communication translates what the heart and thought mean.
This feeling contributes to the couple protecting each other and remaining together even in times of difficulty and mismatches. Even if one day love ends, if there is loyalty there can still be a respectful coexistence between the couple. Loyalty makes people feel that they are not alone in the world, more than a loving feeling, it has to do with humanity.Commitment
In addition to loving, it is also important to want to be in a relationship. and this implies making some choices, giving in some situations and putting oneself in others. Unfortunately, these days, many people want a relationship but do not want a commitment. They only long for happy moments, but forget that sad moments provide shelter in situations of vulnerability. Couples who have a commitment are dedicated so that more than one relationship exists a partnership.
During the routine each of us establishes relationships with different people. It is important to say that many of these links are not necessarily related to the partner. This is because although a couple have a life together, both also have and need to have a separate life. Herein lies independence. Being independent does not mean not missing out on the other's life. But it shows that even being together, one manages to be happy and is able to carry out his projects alone or with other people.
In addition to being able to have an individual routine, whoever is in a relationship also needs to be able to make connections without having to barter feelings or express emotional blackmail. to see a friend in the partner. Friendship is an important marker in a relationship. After all, it makes it possible for the couple to feel nice when they are together. This feeling makes it possible to turn ordinary moments into memorable situations. It helps to soften and relieve possible disagreements and daily renews the desire to have that person walking beside you.
Just as friendship enables the couple to feel comfortable in moments that are not romantic, passion helps to have that feeling of blood running through the veins when the two are together. Passion takes the life of the couple from a mass routine. In addition, it brings with it energy, motivation and a sense of optimism. A loving couple is dedicated to strengthening the physical and emotional connection through sex and affection.
Without forgetting love
Even though all these feelings are important, love is what will provide the basis for all of them balance over the relationship. In fact, the existence of love has the role of empowering and making sense of all feelings within a relationship.
Have you realized that when we talk to someone, we often end up justifying ourselves through a discourse based on the explanations of why we did or did not do what we are talking about? At first glance it may seem trivial to clarify our motives, but in many instances these explanations, as well as unnecessary ones, are of no interest to our interlocutor.
The balance between personal and professional life is always a challenge. However, is there any disadvantage in keeping a rigid organization at work? According to new research from the University of Toronto in Canada, people who have greater control of the work agenda tend to manifest greater obstacles between work life and other parts of life, especially in family-related matters.
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