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Adolescence: understand the changes of this period

Adolescence: understand the changes of this period

"There is a recent transformation in the status of adolescence today, if until the first half of this century all that the adolescent wanted was to be included in the world of adults, today adolescence is overvalued and adults (Contardo Calligaris).

How can we judge what it means to be the father or mother of a teenager in a time when countless changes in family and social relationships are not clear to anyone? What does it mean to be a teenager and watch (in 3D) the outbreak of a "new body"? and self-thinking? To experience the birth of both losses and new powers?

When it comes to such a complex phase of life as adolescence, when analyzing parents and children, do not try to find good guys and bad guys, because both, in their own way, are in deep crisis. We are facing the first generation of teenagers in the history of humanity who has facebook. It seems to be a joke, but I believe that each generation will face "the technology it deserves" with its consequent modifications in family and interpersonal relationships.

From the viewpoint of psychoanalyst JD Nasio, "Adolescence is a childhood mourning. At the same time, the adolescent must, at the same time, lose, conserve and conquer: To lose his body as a child, to preserve everything he has felt, perceived and desired from his first awakening, especially his innocence as a child, to conquering adulthood. "

I believe that the best way for an adult to understand this" teenage mourning "is by remembering his own adolescence. What was it like to realize that Mom and Dad were not the same as parents built by the childlike look? What was it like to experience the urgency of belonging to a group of friends and wanting space in the eyes of the girls or the boys? Insecurity alternating with the feeling of being the owner of the world and dare to be irreverent?

Ambivalence, mood instability, and seemingly incoherent behavior are characteristic at this stage, as long as no exaggeration is manifested in their intensity or frequency. We can then conclude that these symptoms are a "normal syndrome in adolescence". Young people alternate audacity with shyness, concomitant apathy with affective conflicts, religious crises ranging from atheism to mysticism, amorphous sexuality or too often displayed and talk or too quiet. They try to express in words this search for oneself. The gap in this expression usually comes from the fact that they do not know how to identify exactly what they feel.

It is not just teens who go through mourning. For parents, the exercise of giving up the child child and evolving into a relationship with the adult child usually hurts. It is not uncommon to hear in the office the sadness of parents who, when they encounter their grown children, realize that their own youth has passed. Perhaps the greatest mourning experienced by the parents is that they were judged by their children, something that did not happen when they were little, after all, at this stage they felt idolized.

It was the time when the attempt of a deeper understanding of the phenomena that happen during adolescence centered only on the adolescent. This approach will always be incomplete if we do not widen the horizons for the family and the social context in which it is inserted.

Parents and adolescents, some in a silent and sneaky way, others with greater turbulence and storm, cross their crises. But calm, there is land in sight! What are the signs that attest to the end of this phase that we popularly call "aborrescence"? J.D. Nasio provides a beautiful clue, both psychoanalytic and poetic: "To have matured is to have acquired a new way of loving the other and loving oneself."


Industrialized chicks affect baby's nutritional education

Industrialized chicks affect baby's nutritional education

True, industrialized chips have evolved a lot in recent years. Today we find on the market chunks without preservatives and dyes, without added sugars and rich in vitamins and minerals. Some are packaged in glass jars, free of bisphenol A and composed of 100% organic ingredients. But are they healthy?

(Family)

Natural hygiene: understand what this method is for and for children

Natural hygiene: understand what this method is for and for children

The "Communication of Elimination" (EC) method, published by Tamara Hiller, has been widely circulated among mothers and has been called here by Natural Hygiene. The main idea of ​​the technique is for parents to see what signs the babies give by wanting to eliminate feces and urine, and instead of wearing diapers, take them to the penny at those times.

(Family)