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Conflicts at home cause long-term harm to children

Conflicts at home cause long-term harm to children

Often the home environment may not be as quiet as possible. Fights and misunderstandings can occur, which is normal, because the coexistence brings some problems in the day to day. However, a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships shows that these excess conflicts can cause psychological damage to children, causing them to become traumatized.

Children exposed to frequent domestic conflicts have their ability to trust in the next and interpret the emotions of others committed. They also acquire a sense of excessive vigilance, anxiety, and become vulnerable to distorting neutral human interactions, and may interpret banal attitudes as attacks on their persona, especially when they become adults. "The message is clear: Even low levels of adversities, such as fights between parents, are not beneficial to children, "says Alice Schermerhorn, an assistant professor in the department of psychological sciences at the University of Vermont and author of the study.

The method used to measure the fact

99 children from 9 to 11 years old were divided into two groups based on a series of questions that classified those who experienced more or less conflicts at home, and how much they felt that these conflicts threatened the marriage of their children. parents.

Soon the children were shown a series of photographs of couples interacting in different ways: happy, angry or neutral. They would have to say in which category out of three, each photo fit.

Children living in low-conflict homes were able to categorize photos correctly. Those who lived in a constantly stressful environment were able to correctly classify only couples who were happy or angry, not those who were neutral. Neutrality was confused with happiness or anger among this group of children, with some not being able to even classify neutral pictures.

What can be concluded from the study

The inability of these children to identify situations neutral can be attributed to the sense of excessive vigilance, since they tend to analyze aspects of life bearing in mind the impossibility of a situation being only trivial. At the same time, it can be concluded that neutral situations go unnoticed by children who

What you can do to avoid conflicts at home with your partner and not affect your child

Psychologist Milena Lhano gives you 10 tips so you can have a relationship with fewer fights, so that the mood at home is not bad for you and your children. See below:

Avoid keeping your opinion of your partner's attitudes that bother you, because what initially seems small may one day be the trigger for a major war

Avoid guarding your partner's grievances and resentments or partner when he or she tells you something that you consider offensive. Try to get rid of this feeling before it is able to turn love into hatred.

  • Try to control your jealousy and overconfidence. Jealousy is a lethal poison for most relationships
  • Avoid idealizing and placing excessive expectations on your partner
  • Avoid getting away for long periods of time from your spouse
  • Do not avoid the dialogue
  • Learn to recognize the good deeds of those who live by your side
  • Avoid lack of affection and affection
  • Maneire in stubbornness
  • Do not settle down and become a slave to the routine, as this will make things monotonous
  • "No one is able to eliminate all existing conflicts," concludes the study's author. "But to help children grasp the idea that even when their parents argue, they still care about each other, and that things can be resolved, it's of the utmost importance."

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