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Sex talk with children does not have to be scathing or repressive

Sex talk with children does not have to be scathing or repressive

When the children start asking questions such as: What is sex? Where did I come from? What is the condom for? Why is my body different from yours? How do you make a baby ?, parents are usually taken by surprise and seek a way out of these situations. But, most of the time, the solutions found are not the right ones, such as inventing the story of the stork that brought the baby or the seed that Mommy ate. But, contrary to what common sense believes, the subject "sex" need not be taboo and can be treated naturally. It is important for the formation of the children, that the parents respect the curiosity on the subject. (Test: Do you know how to talk sex with your child?)

Facing with naturalness

Many parents are not prepared to deal with the subject and often avoid making the child satiate or whet their curiosity about sex . "The adults who make it a taboo probably did not have adequate sexual orientation. They avoid talking about the subject because they see the sexual issue in an erotic way and not as part of a natural human need," explains psychologist Maria Dirce Benedito of the department If the child does not find the space to find the information she needs, she starts looking at other sources, such as school friends, movies, magazines, internet sites. The problem is that these sources are not always reliable. "Parents need to help with their child's education, and sex should also be part of learning. The most important thing is to deal with the matter very naturally, understanding that it is a normal process," says the psychologist. or waiting to be asked?

boy thinking - photo: getty images

There is not a certain age to talk to the child. Ideally, parents should be attentive to the child's curiosity and cognitive ability, that is, how much she wants to know about the subject and how far she will be able to understand. "If the family decides to talk to the child about sex before they are willing to understand it, there will be a run over of interests and the child will probably not listen for long," explains the Unifesp specialist. from the age of two, that children begin to have their attention awakened to the differences and sensations of the body, but the capacity for abstraction is still small. Parents can begin to enter information according to the neurological development of the child. "By the age of seven, children already have a greater ability to learn. At this stage, parents can begin to teach better how a sexual relationship works and names such as penis, vagina, vulva," the specialist teaches. And, speaking of names, the ideal is for parents to teach the real name of genital parts and terms related to sex.

Develop the subject

boys and girls - photo: getty images

The best way to Getting an explanation about sex is asking the child what she already knows about it. "So you have a better idea of ​​what she really wants to know and what her level of understanding is," explains Maria Dirce. It is also important to understand where the curiosity comes from. This may help to know if the child is acquiring habits not indicated for her or not. TV information, for example, can anticipate the child questioning period.

It is good for parents to reflect on what is really good for the child and what should be left out. "It's all getting very eroticized. Families often collaborate to anticipate teenage years and make sex vulgar, by encouraging adult movies, connotative music, and even fairer clothing. happens is that people end up hoping that the children have a more eroticized behavior and this can be a negative influence for the child, "believes Maria Dirce. "The role of parents, in addition to educating and teaching, is to filter out some information with which the children may have contact, which should not be done repressively, but based on dialogues and setting boundaries."

The first contact

parents - photos - photo: getty images

Repression is never the best way to educate, especially if it is a child. Prohibition can even encourage you to go against what the parents said. In relation to sexual experience, parents and educators need to be careful not to be repressive. The contact with one's own body is part of the child's discovery and learning. It is important that the child, who wishes, has this experience of knowing himself. Phrases such as "take the hand that hurts," "this is dirty," "this is ugly," should be avoided.

Furthermore, the psychologist teaches that child sex education books are often valuable in this phase of discovery, so that children can better understand, through pictures, what each term and possible sensations it feels.

The role of the school

Some schools have sex education classes and, according to the psychologist, would be important if all of them adhered to discipline. "Teaching the subject of different intensity in the different stages of childhood is also very important to clarify doubts that children may have and do not have the courage to talk to their parents," he believes. Maria Dirce

Parents and close children

Talking about sex with children is part of a healthy relationship between families. Open dialogue is always important, as taught by Unifesp's psychologist. "An open relationship between parents and children helps to bring the family closer together." From a young age, the parents try to understand and guide the child, the bond will be strengthened and the children will see in them a source of confidence.


Passive smoking leads children to miss more in school

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Conquer harmony in the relationship between mother and daughter

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