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Do not let the virtual world affect your relationships

Do not let the virtual world affect your relationships

I recently experienced a situation that caught my attention: my 11-year-old and 13-year-old daughters and 16-year-old cousin met at the grandparents' house for lunch. Sunday. The three with their cell phones in hand soon joined and went to exchange songs and show the new games they discovered.

Animated, they interspersed checks of new messages that kept coming as they exchanged information. At that time, the age difference was not noticeable, as they were all on the same technological level and they spoke exactly the same language.

This is one of the most common scenes these days: people connected, checking messages, listening to songs with headphones, tinkering with their Ipads, Iphones, Itunes and everything else out there.

The fact that teenagers no longer know how to relate without these little gadgets in the middle worried me. Just chatting or playing some board game, as we did before, is no longer satisfying.

It is a great irony: the people there, live, do not relate, but they are full of "friends" on the internet.

And there I and many other parents that live the Even in the dilemma we ask ourselves: is this healthy? Does this need to be constantly connected can run up against personal relationships? What is the limit we should put in the use of such equipment so that children are not absolutely addicted to it? Is it, perhaps, that we should simply conform to the new reality and accept that it satisfies them?

I often see another scene that worries me: couples of boyfriends or even husband and wife who, at the restaurant table or at a bar with live music, do not talk. Both are worried about checking their messages on their cell phone, the latest Facebook posts. It's a great irony: the people there, live, do not relate, but are full of "friends" on the internet. Where did the quality of interpersonal ties go? The virtual is worth more than the presence?

We have to educate our children by giving them limits so that they do not become adults addicted to "virtual" relationships and to give due value to human contact. How do you feel when you're telling something to a person and she keeps checking messages, saying she's paying attention to what you say, but looking at her cell phone and typing in an answer? Does not that seem to be disrespectful to you?

Well, unfortunately, this is more and more common. We must accept the technological advance, because in this respect there is no turning back. At the same time, we can not close our eyes to what we are doing with our relationships.

I receive couples in the office who complain of the lack of dialogue due to the excessive use of the computer by one of them. The lack of limit placed by those who take work home and remain connected late into the night with "things that can not be left for tomorrow" has affected many relationships.

Parents who have no more time for children, for family, leisure and couples who do not know what "dating" will gradually undermine their ties.

The internet has definitely come to help us, to open the world and connect with things that we never imagined possible , but do not allow it to disconnect us from what we have most valuable: ourselves and our true relationships.


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