Far from being educative, tapinha causes physical and emotional pain
The patina is rooted in our culture, proves the Datafolha survey released on Monday (26). According to the data collected, 54% of Brazilians are against the bill that vetoes slaps, pinching and physical punishment on children.
Of the 10,905 interviewees, only 36% were in favor of President Lula's proposal. This is because most Brazilians (72%) have already caught up with their parents, already hit their children and think that the method does no harm and is an aid in educating the child. The result of the research goes against the idea defended by the government and NGOs that "talking is always better than beating."
Understanding the project
President Lula last week signed a bill to prohibit the practice of physical punishment in children and adolescents. The resolution was made in commemoration of the twenty years of the Child and Adolescent Statute (ECA), which already instituted punishment against "mistreatment", but did not specify the types of punishment that can not be used by parents,
If the law is approved, tapas, pinches, ear-tugs and other types of physical punishment may be denounced by persons who live with the family, as neighbors and relatives, to the guardianship council. And the punishments are the same as those already foreseen in the ECA for parents and caregivers, ranging from referral to psychological treatment to warning and possible loss of custody.
With this, the government wishes to end the banalization of violence in the home, where clapping can develop into beatings, burns, fractures and even death threats. The measure is controversial, but it is in line with global trends, as currently more than 25 countries, including Switzerland, Austria and Germany, have policies aimed at curbing this practice. In South America, only Uruguay and Venezuela have adopted a similar law.
Crash is never a solution
Child education specialists have long condemned, but the famous tap is still used as a teaching method by parents who believe that this is an efficient way of imposing respect and educating.
The problem is the physical and affective damage that attitude causes to the pimps. "What is a pat for an adult, is not for a child, hitting is never the solution," explains the psychologist Maria Amélia Azevedo, who conducted a study by the Institute of Psychology of USP, together with the psychologist Viviane Nogueira de Azevedo The research, which originated the book Mania de Crash - The Domestic Corporal Punishment of Children and Adolescents in Brazil, concluded that of the 894 children interviewed, most of them were interviewed. of the half reported having taken at least one tap at home and, in most cases, it was the mothers who were responsible for the spanking. "The children feel physical and psychological pain, and many of the children evaluated were angry with the parents who, for them, had forgotten that they were once children," explains Viviane de Azevedo.
Tapinha hurts yes
The pain felt by the child when he takes a spanking is not just physical. The spanking often hurts the feelings of the child, who does not understand the reason for having caught. For them, what is left of the lesson is violence as a form of punishment.
"The child should not be punished physically, he should be educated, if he grows up being reprimanded with violence, he will be violent too. , repetition, "explains couple therapist and family Marina Vasconcellos. "Parents are shocked when school complaints about their children's aggressive behavior arrive, but it is enough to see that the reaction is one of the effects of the tapping violence they use to educate."
Secretary Juliana Martins, Beatriz's mother, 6 years old, says she had never slapped her daughter because she thought it was not a good way to educate her, but one day, her head was hot, the secretary patted Bia, who reacted crying a lot. Desperate to think she had hurt her daughter, Juliana asked what had happened, and the girl said it hurt more in her heart. "I have never touched a finger on her before, and I still remember her talking to her with tears in her eyes, and after that I realized that talking is always the best option," says the mother. Marina Vasconcellos explains that, often, firm voice and posture are enough to reprimand the pimpolhos.
Marina Vasconcellos explains that, often, firm voice and posture are enough to reprimand the pimpolhos and that pointing out the reasons for the scolding is fundamental for the education process to be effective. If you do not show the error, nothing will work, and the child will learn what is taught to her. "If you teach conversation, she will learn conversation. in exchange for one day, "warns the therapist.
In addition, pimps can view punishment based on tapas as a way to confront parents, and the method that aimed to educate ends up provoking the opposite effect: "As the cap is never followed by explanations, it awakens tantrums in the child, who will make the same mistake to see how far the parents can stand. "A good option for the problem is to never get off the ground, so your children will not test you, because they know you lose your balance in the face of their mischief."
According to age
Chat with a two year old is not the same as talking to a six year old. Very young children understand that they are being scolded, but they can not perceive the reasons for the scolding, so Marina recommends patience and the change of habits of the parents. "Try to show by means of attitudes what you are trying to explain in words.If she should not play in the outlet, take her out and say she can not.If she messed up the toy, take it out and show her where it should be "If you teach conversation, she will learn conversation.If you teach with tapas, you can get tapas in exchange for one day," warns the psychologist. .
The language of affection is taught with attitudes and not violence
Love between parents and children takes place at the base of the construction.
When the child gets spanked as punishment, he learns that spanking is good too and begins to build aggressive bonds.
"If parents beat, she learns that beating is legal.If parents punish them with violence, they will always feel that desires should be punished and can become a repressed and even shy adult, "says the therapist.
Do you know that old saying, "Are children the mirrors of their parents?" According to the couple's and family therapist, Marina Vasconcellos, when a child grows spanking, he can use the same method with his children in the future, creating a vicious circle: "The child may even think it's bad when he takes the spanking, but when he grows up it becomes natural, after all, her parents would not do anything wrong against her and, in this way, she ends up passing on these values to the children.It is pure repetition ", concludes Marina
- Demonstrate. If the child is small, take the object away from the dangerous situation by saying that it can not. She will understand that she can not do that.
- Show your authority. Firm pulse and active voice can help educate without causing emotional and physical damage. "The child is already intimidated by the tone of voice," says the therapist.- Always talk. "When we understand our mistakes, we avoid repetition. A child who stops doing something through repression, but not through an educational act, does not learn, only accumulates negative reinforcement and revolt," continues the expert. can help educate without appealing to the tap. According to Marina Vasconcellos, games are great allies of didactic education. With them, parents can teach limits and explain joking mistakes.
The survey included responses from 4,171 randomly selected families who answered questionnaires when their children were six months, 12 months, and four and a half years old. We examined children who had three or more episodes of wheezing in the past year. This group was compared to children who did not have episodes of wheezing.
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