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Happy and long-lasting marriage depends on partner care

Happy and long-lasting marriage depends on partner care

You who reads me now, possibly, are expecting a formula to be successful in marriage. After all, who would not want to have it? Unfortunately, there is no formula - but some considerations are important.

Anyone who thinks about marriage probably thinks of relationships forever. The idea, fascinating at first, must be considered. Absolutely certain who will have? No, you will not, just as if you open a business today, you will never know for sure if it will avenge. However, if you take care of him, striving, seeking innovations, putting love - lots of love - yes, you will have a great chance of achieving it. And, just like a business, marriage should be constantly evaluated. Just as you probably take care of a new vehicle, take it to maintenance from time to time, you should do it with your relationship.

I've talked to people who are looking for the certainty that they are choosing the right person. Well, for what? Right for whom? It seems silly, but some people still care about pleasing friends and family and forget to ask if they can imagine themselves interested in this person even after the passion passes. Yes, believe me, passion passes, but what is left - reassure - is a calm that warms the soul, cradles the heart. Yes, this could be evidence to be followed. A "bridge to the future" to be made at this very moment, for you dear reader, who is wondering what is missing for all this to happen.

If I had to give a definition of marriage, I would say it is an odd opportunity to split , add, multiply and subtract.

We constantly watch romantic movies and imagine that the evidence would be exactly this. Candlelight dinners every night, impeccably neat little house, daily good humor, flowers surprising you by opening the door.

No, I do not want to take your illusion, I do not want to give you a cold shower and say that everything This is nonsense. All this is very important to keep the flame of love burning. In passion you do not care about this, because the flames that keep the heat seem endless. But they will erase if they are not cared for. It is important to remember that dirty laundry, sink full of dinner and dust in the house will accompany you. And if you're prepared, your day-to-day life can be intense, even if you have to invest a little extra work.

The most important of these are the values ​​that will accompany you. If the person chosen meets this basic requirement, go ahead. Is it a person who fills you with what is important to you? Go ahead. And get ready to share many moments together. If I had to give a definition of marriage, I would say that it is a unique opportunity to divide, add, multiply and subtract. Use all these mathematical functions so that in the end you have collected positive experiences, learned to live with two, and left behind the pain, disappointment, sadness and disappointment, understanding that whoever is with you will also be meeting a you who he did not know that he would also, at times, be disappointed with the illusory expectations he had one day made about him, which did not correspond to exactly who you were. And you know why? Because you did not even know yourself well enough to warn him about it.

So, dear reader, yes, you can be very happy in marriage, as long as you have the infinite possibilities of being surprised day by day. Sometimes with details not so positive, others with the delight of being able to see how much maturity sustains you and you can cope with some unplanned situation.

Finally, breaking up today is very easy. It is really hard to face, to face the difficulty and to believe that whatever is happening, will strengthen them. I invite you to consider these settings, from a person who is living a long-lasting relationship.

* Rebeca Fischer is a psychologist and instructor at SBPNL - Brazilian Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming


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