en.aazsante.fr

The Largest Portal Of Health And Quality Of Life.

How to deal with people who only focus on themselves

How to deal with people who only focus on themselves

To talk about relationships, whether family, love or friendship, you need to think about a movement of exchange, bonding, communication, and interaction on both sides. I often compare a relationship with a bridge, where each has its own half to come and go. And the meeting, of the people, happens well in the middle, according to the availability, dedication and interest of both sides. A relationship can never be built on one side, it takes a movement of the two parts and so I find this example to be quite valid.

As we imagine ourselves walking down a bridge to the other, we are talking about interest, for the other, to look for it, and although we can see and move toward the other, we can not help but notice ourselves and have our own ground, our part of the bridge, which is fundamental to exist for ourselves in a relationship , because it is what will keep us standing and also what we can offer support (if necessary). So in this way we can think that in order to relate we need empathy and selfishness at the same time in appropriate measures.

From the metaphor to the day to day

For a good relationship, some care is always necessary: attentive not to get too far or too much in our space, because this moves us from the middle "of the bridge", that is, it moves us away from the other and prevents us from seeing, hearing and really perceiving it. And this same careful attention is valid for an opposite attitude, that is, not to invade half of the other person. Even though it is an open space to receive us, it does not necessarily mean that it is freely accessible. And if we do not take small care, we can abuse this space in the relationship, which does not belong to us and thus diminish the other in our life and also in his life.

When we do not allow approaching the other or when we invade time, ideas and the space of the other, we probably have a conflicting relationship and an egocentric movement. If we search about the meaning of the word egocentrism we will find explanations such as: someone who refers to his own self, excessive self-love, disregard for the interests of others, a selfish one. Although these characteristics seem not to combine with an idea of ​​relationship, we usually watch or even experience relationships with selfish people often in our lives and in the most different spheres: family, dating, marriages and, of course, also in friendships. makes a person self-centered?

A selfish person need not be seen as a bad person. And it does not mean that he does not like you or does not like you. But selfish people find it difficult to perceive the other, the need to attend to one's own ego makes it not see, not hear, and does not give much room for the other to exist in the relationship. They are people who talk a lot about themselves, their activities, their profession, their travels, their discoveries and what attracts attention is the intensity that this person demonstrates with their self. Usually your lines will contain "I" over and over again in different ways, like: I know, I am, I do, I already have, I know someone, I have heard. As well as phrases of possession are also part of your speech, such as: my friend, my school, my work, my idea, my time ...

Talking about yourself is your main characteristic and applies both to good, as well as for difficulties, health issues, financial problems. Your problems will always seem more intense and will require more space and time than others. It is common for selfish people to interrupt the speech of others to include themselves in the facts or even to change the subject according to their need or desire. And so they tend to have or generate very conflictual relationships.

It is not easy to stay with people who possess this feature very intensely for a long time. No matter how much affection or love we have for someone like that, egocentric people do not allow us much space to live together. Normally, however much they desire the relationship, they are not open to exchange or interact, since there is no real interest in what belongs to the other, but in itself. It is worth remembering here that to have a good relationship it is necessary to have two parts standing, walking, interacting, being welcomed and desired. When only one part gains, or speaks, or believes that it is right, it is probably invading the space of the other and diminishing its existence, or when it is absent or far from the other, trapped in its own space without access, do not you think?

How to solve this situation?

Talking about it is always a welcome and necessary way to try to ease conflicting relationships. To be able to show with style, without attacking or accusing, that the other needs to review their attitudes, since it is being selfish, it is fundamental for the relationship to have a chance of future. But that does not mean the other will agree or be open to it. Especially because it is common for the picture to be like this for a long time, sometimes years and when we feel uncomfortable it is already an intense situation, where we are worn out and the other very accustomed to acting in this selfish way.

It will take a lot of tact to move in this matter and discover new possibilities, which will only be possible if both parties are of the same interest. Otherwise they are very likely to separate or distance themselves, for one side feels suffocated, crushed, and non-existent and needs to reclaim its living space, while the other side is grandly scattered and reigning and will need to retreat, to diminish dominated space and this may not be interesting for this side either. The main thing is: if there is not the effort to want to be together and to overcome this fault in the division of space of the relation, it is probable that the lack of interest, of both parties, conquer.

It is a delicate situation, because many times there is real affection from both sides, but the intense selfish movement weakens one side and the relationship becomes unbalanced. So it's hard for them to stay together for a long time or to look good together.

The good side of selfishness

It is worth remembering here, too, a curiosity: that in fact we are all selfish. Yeah, that's right, we're all selfish! And this is not a problem or need not be. We all have an ego, that is, our existence and individualism as human beings, and that is fundamental to our existence. Selfishness does not have to be seen as something bad or harmful, on the contrary, it is necessary for us to be part of a whole, without being only a shadow. But it must be made clear that there is a difference between this need for selfishness and selfishness. To have selfishness is to keep yourself aware of your particularities and thus secure your self, being open to see, hear and receive the other without giving up your existence and this is very important. Already, to be selfish is to put yourself above, or the front of the other and it is only to see yourself as a need and that not much like you.

Another side of the problem

Finally, I believe it is well worth leaving here a reflection , a little more than just trying to understand or dealing with selfish people. Is it worth thinking, too, why we allow these people to take up so much space in our lives? Why do we let them direct us or alter our desires? Where were we when they started invading our space in the relationship? Why have not we manifested ourselves before? What has happened to our ego in this relationship?

I think that if we can learn more about who we are, what our space, our limits and desires, we probably would not allow the selfishness of other people to invade us and thus avoid or minimize this impact well . After all, they would not seek us or become so selfish with us. Looking at this, we can understand that in some ways we have a part in this history of the egoism of the other and so reflecting on our ego / ego (egoism) seems necessary to understand who we are and only then try to understand the other.This is the tip.


Fabio Di Giacomo, inspirer in the quest for self-knowledge

Fabio Di Giacomo, inspirer in the quest for self-knowledge

The "Life Inspirers" project is a My Life initiative in partnership with very special people to inspire more and more people to seek a life healthier, more balanced, happier. But we know that the process of transformation is an internal search, which requires a lot of self-knowledge. To help in this mission, we present here our inspiring life Fabio Dia Giacomo, founder of UM% consultancy.

(Well-being)

With yoga, old woman of 86 years old changes posture and solves pains

With yoga, old woman of 86 years old changes posture and solves pains

After the stairs episode, where the elderly woman had to use a wheelchair temporarily, everything had to change. It was then that her granddaughter, who is a yoga instructor, introduced the elderly woman to Rachel Jesien, a specialist in back care. Rachel visited Anna once a week, teaching positions that would help her recover.

(Well-being)