Imposing limits on relationships is fundamental to emotional well-being
We were educated to be always educated even if this attitude generates great discomfort for us. There are many situations in which we feel invaded by the other, either with some unsolicited opinion, an interference in the education of the children or with interventions in some activity at work. In these moments, we feel that the other does not value our potential and that everything we produce is not satisfactory.
In part, these feelings occur because we do not feel secure with what we do or because we have a past of devaluing our behaviors already in our family of origin. The nuisance can also arise by living with people who are accustomed to speaking what they think without any limit and who end up invading the space of others because they think their point of view is always the correct one. situation, these occurrences strike us, which generates malaise and the feeling of unhappiness. But at the same time, we end up avoiding how we feel, accepting the position of the other.
The fear of hurting people or displeasing them prevents us from punctuating our positions with what happens, as if the mere act of speaking what we think would be to eliminate the affection that the other feels for us. But there is a big difference between fighting and communicating. We can dialogue without losing our reason, but the fear of some people is to be harsh and to put out what they think aggressively, as if it were the only way to express themselves.
The limit exists to be given and is important for the survival of mankind since the earliest times. We can not drive after drinking alcohol. We can not buy everything we want in a store and do not miss work every time it hits a sloth. In this way, laws exist to organize the whole, making everything work in the best possible way. The rule also applies to us and the communication we develop with others.
Thus, assertively saying what we want to the other, putting the necessary limits so that they do not invade us is of extreme importance to our physical health and mental.
We can train at home, alone in the room the posture we want to develop:
Look in the mirror and start talking what you want to say to the other
- Analyze your posture, facial expression in these moments and go improving gradually, because putting limits with the face of an apology does not work
- Train so that your voice is calm and constant, since the goal is only to communicate and not to attack
- Trust your perception and develop a coherent speech, without giving much explanation, just enough so the other person understands that he does not feel good about his attitude.
- A basic training is the way to go and do not forget that in the first few r as easy or even the way you like. However, over time, you will realize that when you put limits, the other learns that you should not invade our space and thus you will begin to cultivate more coherent attitudes when you have to manifest yourself.
In life, everything is learning and when we take care of ourselves with small attitudes, we contribute to our emotional and physical well-being.
The idea that the mind and body interact had already begun to be considered in the Middle Ages by the Muslim physician Al-Balkhi (1). Nowadays no one doubts that clinical ("physical") problems can arise in response to psychological stress - diseases such as diabetes, heart problems and rheumatoid arthritis can clearly have their symptoms worsened, for example in the presence of severe anxiety.
Allowing yourself to try new positions causes the routine to be broken and new pleasures to be discovered. Most of the time, these position changes help stimulate different areas, increasing the couple's pleasure. However, attention needs to be paid when performing some positions as they may end up hurting or generating discomfort during the actual sexual.