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Jealousy signals low self-esteem and can detonate relationships

Jealousy signals low self-esteem and can detonate relationships

After scenes of jealousy, persecution and some scandals, what was to be a case of love or companionship ends in disagreement and quarrels. Besides these lived scenes worthy of novel scripts, jealousy is one of the most common factors that destabilize a relationship. According to psychologist Doralice Lima, this feeling is common as sadness, joy and anger, but can escape the barriers of what would be normal when he leads a relationship and becomes pathology. According to the professional, jealousy in exaggeration is nothing more than a sign that self-esteem is at low levels.

Understand the villain

In the love relationship, the boundless will of wanting to control the partner , the custom of fantasizing situations and just living in the light of these illusions are some of the symptoms of unhealthy jealousy, motive that suffocates a relationship and puts an end to dating or marriage.

Jealousy signals low self-esteem and can detonate relationships - Photo: Getty Images

"The patient's past jealous excess can contribute to his pathology," explains psychiatrist Maurício Lima. According to the professional, people who have already felt the unfortunate sensation of betrayal tend to be suspicious since they fear that the pain will recur. In addition to the jealous suffering from the situation, he may verbally assault the other, or even start off at physical aggression - behaviors that also help to define compulsion levels. "These people also coexist with anxiety, depression, insecurity, humiliation, guilt, a desire for revenge and, especially, low self-esteem." The individual also often nourishes the feeling of possession. In this case, it is crucial to note the difference between this stifling behavior and zeal. The second is a healthy experience and just a way of caring.

Jealousy signals low self-esteem and can detonate relationships - Photo: Getty Images

Experts believe that certain exaggerated jealousies may also be linked to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder TOC). Illness, among other symptoms, causes a person to always believe that he or she is being betrayed, and constantly seeks to ascertain whether he or she is actually right in what he thinks.

Jealousy between family members also appears to ruin what could be a healthy exchange and, at times, pervades rivalry and envy. Such a scenario happens in the relationship between siblings, for example, who seek prominence and want the attention of parents. "This kind of behavior can arise around the age of 4 or even earlier, when the child feels threatened by the arrival of a new member in the family," explains Doralice.

End of the nightmare

Insecurity and negative self-esteem are characteristics of the jealousy in excess. The partner who is jealous of the other may be instrumental in softening the feeling by clarifying the problem, pointing out the qualities of the person who have made her attractive and cultivating the safety of the couple. When attempts to alleviate the problem between the two do not work, it is necessary to try to see the situation away from the banal and seek help to achieve changes with therapies.
According to Doralice, for the disgusting moments add up to the love relationship, an alternating one is the couple therapy. "A psychologist can do a subjective assessment of the person to find ways to treat and put an end to the drama. The therapist helps patients to get to know each other better," he explains. The partner can also help in this case. Understanding that it is a part of the process, he can realize which attitudes increase jealousy of the other and help in mitigating and even avoid the triggers that culminate in the crisis of jealousy of the partner.


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