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Keeping grieving brings damage to our body's health

Keeping grieving brings damage to our body's health

When someone disappoints us, hurts us, when we lose something important or suffer some injustice, anger and indignation are normal feelings, but the problem is when those feelings turn into hurt and bitterness. In the book "The Power of Forgiveness", the American psychiatrist Fred Luskin, presents his experience and studies on this topic. He demonstrates that the forgiving process can be trained and developed. He uses the metaphor of an airport, which has congested air traffic, to explain how a person's mind is, overwhelmed by sorrow. Every airplane in the air is likened to a hurt that, while not landing, is demanding energy and depleting its resources.

When we harbor hurts, our brain produces chemicals and stress-related hormones that limit our actions and detract from our well-being

When we hold a hurt and think of the pain we suffer, the brain reacts as if we are in danger at that moment. It produces chemicals linked to stress, which limit our actions. The thinking part of the brain is limited, it is when we act without thinking to get rid of the sensation of danger.

Therefore, the hurt consumes a lot of energy, because every time we tell what happened, the same feelings are unleashed. The brain can not distinguish whether that betrayal or aggression happened now or three years ago.

Just as we chose the TV channel we want to watch, we can also learn to choose which "channel" is going through our mind. We can choose to think about how much we have been victimized, how much we have been hurt, and thereby perpetuate our suffering or we can choose to think about how strong we were to survive what happened and change our focus. It does not mean that we should get over the sadness, the pain and the anger we feel, but we need to learn that there is a time for these feelings.

One way to change the "channel" of our mind is to think about how we can change story of our pain. What is the story that we told ourselves about what happened to us?

Remembering the fact, talking about it countless times, being in the place of "victims" within the story we tell gives us the feeling that the suffering we do not will be forgotten and that if we leave this place, whoever made us suffer will be free to pay for what he has done. But keeping the hurt, keeps us ineffectively connected to the person who made us suffer.

The other is probably not suffering, neither more nor less, just because we keep the hurt inside us. we tell the story of our pain, highlighting how much we were victims of that person and emphasizing how cruel she was to us, we continue giving her power. We get stuck in a role that should not be ours anymore. We need to get through this moment, we need to heal.

How about we stop a bit and rephrase the story of our pain? Without forcing events or innocent people, but putting a focus on our attitudes, what we did and we can make constructive in front of what happened.


Male narcissism may cause disgust in women

Male narcissism may cause disgust in women

Heterosexual women view male narcissism with weight and hostility, according to a Kent study State University, in the United States, published in the journal Sex Roles. Yet heterosexual men, gay men and women have a softer relationship. Psychologist Scott Keiller, author of the research, has shown that low empathy for narcissists, feelings of ownership, and admiration and deserved deprivation may make this men more prone to aggression and revenge.

(Well-being)

Scientists discover music that reduces anxiety by 65% ​​

Scientists discover music that reduces anxiety by 65% ​​

Many people turn to music as a way to quell anxiety - a problem that is becoming more and more common on a day to day basis and among young people. But did you know that there is a specific song that can actually work effectively against that feeling? Scientists at Mindlab International, a center specializing in neuromarketing, have found that the Marconi Union's "Weightless" music can reduce anxiety in general in 65%, also improving physiological rest rates by 35%.

(Well-being)