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Lack of sex does not mean that marriage should end

Lack of sex does not mean that marriage should end

There has been a frequent search for couples therapy with this complaint: they ask if it is healthy to have a marriage where there is no sexual attraction for the partner. Everything is good in life for two: they are friends, they love to travel together, they raise their children with harmony, they have a good social life, they share their homework, they have plans in common ... but there is no sex.

This is a question quite delicate and difficult to access, since no one likes to admit that they do not feel any attraction to the spouse. If it is from both of them, it even gets easier. Many things can be at stake: how do the couple lead the sex life? Can you talk openly about your preferences and your complaints or shut up, closing in on your own world, afraid of the partner's reaction? Both are satisfied with life without sex or just one of them does not care? "If you are in a marriage where everything is good, but sex is lacking, it is up to you to decide what to do. to look at this part that has been forgotten and strive to rekindle it. "

After all, this race life that we carry often confuses us, because the fatigue and the rush of everyday life they do not allow us to spend as much time as we would like with our partner, or even to go out to make delicious and stimulating programs for the intimate life of the couple, in short, we are swallowed up by the general tasks, by the excess of responsibilities, by the hours spent in traffic or for the raising of children.

And does all this justify the absence of sex in marriage? When couples ask me if this is normal during the marriage, I return the question with another: are you bothered with this or are you okay? Because there are those who do not care about sex, couples who get on very well only sporadically, and then who can judge or criticize them? After the initial passion, it is expected even if the sexual frequency decreases. Abnormal behavior is when the sexual relationship ends completely.

A marriage relationship involves aspects other than sex, such as companionship, mutual support, friendship, common projects, feeling good in the partner's company, confidence, encouragement professional and personal among them, family harmony, admiration and respect, among other things. Realizing this relationship, many people ask me, "Well, if there is no sex then it is a friendship relationship?" This is not true in most cases.

Each relationship is unique, each story built involves different aspects to be taken into account. So, let's not get attached to what people think is right or wrong, but rather what makes the most sense for our personal history.

If you're in a wedding where everything's hot, but sex is missing, it's up to you to decide what to do. Sometimes it's just a matter of looking more at it, going back to taking care of that part that has been forgotten, rekindling it with desire, investing in the intimacy of the couple who got second.

Suddenly you'll be amazed at what you can meet! Well, if you feel that the connection between you has cooled to the point of making no more sense, you are suffering just to hold onto something that is gone - and sex is a sign of it - then it is worth seeking help. Remember that you are responsible for the choices you make in your life. We can choose to remain in the known or to risk in new experiences. Good luck!


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