Only autistic people with a lighter degree can have a love relationship
We did not see so many autistic as today, much as there is no precise classification for mental disorders, as it exists today. However, the prejudice is still great. But it is good to remember that, contrary to what many people think, autism may not be a single sentence and condemnation to the person, since many autistic people live a practically normal life. Nevertheless, even with all the advances coming from neuroscience about autism, much still needs to be understood about the subject, making autism a controversial, challenging and thought-provoking topic. One of the controversial points when the question is autism is that of the autistic sexuality. And the question is: Can the autistic person have a loving relationship?
Types of Autism
To answer these questions, it is essential to understand the autism spectrum. On the one hand, we have the milder forms, which usually only have some symptoms, such as a compromise in behavior. The child may manifest some restriction in social interaction and have some difficulty in relating to other children, but the other areas of development are preserved. Mild autistic children are often very intelligent and sensitive to sudden changes, and most lead a life very close to normal. Some may live for years without being diagnosed, and not infrequently, they are confused with very shy people.
At the other end are the more severe cases of autism. They have a severe intellectual disability and are characterized by the absence of contact with the surrounding environment, living a world apart, in a state of apathy and lack of interest to external stimuli, without any social interaction. Language (verbal and nonverbal communication) is practically absent. They do not abstract, have no discernment about the other's intentions, have no malice, and may even suffer abuse from malicious persons. They can not express affection even to their parents and do not like to give or receive affection. It is common the presence of repetitive patterns of inappropriate and even bizarre behaviors, such as sniffing and bringing to the mouth non-digestible and inedible objects. Crises of aggression with oneself and others with attacks of anger, fury and screams are common. Aversion to change in routine and when it occurs, are completely out of control. Continuous need for help to initiate and maintain activities (even the most basic) of daily life, such as food, clothing, and others, showing an almost total reliance on caregivers.
People with mild autism may have a loving relationship, getting married, having a family and children. In mild cases of autism, impairment occurs only in one segment, with preservation of other areas of development. Life follows its course very close to normal. Deficits, when present, are of minimal intensity and generally do not compromise the couple's lives. Although autism can impair the recognition of emotions, autistic people feel and experience their emotions just like anyone else, what differs is how each autistic person expresses his or her emotions.
If there is any difficulty, it is common support the family. Remember that parents and family members also need proper support and guidance. Most autistic children are known to marry with parental approval and receive all necessary help.
In general, people with autism who choose to establish an enduring emotional bond with another person have a satisfactory degree of emotional independence and have been well-oriented since childhood. Many pre-teens with autism manifest healthy interest in issues related to sex, sexuality, hormones, and others. It is important that all explanations be given about related issues such as dating, marriage, family, children, what it means to have a child, the implications (in affective terms, cost, time) that a child begets in the life of a couple, the most appropriate time to have a child, breastfeeding, changes in the body, and others.
All knowledge acquired will convert to more maturity and self-esteem. Emotional and cognitive maturation are indispensable for a lasting relationship. But it may happen that some autistic, although mild type, complain of some difficulty to start a flirting, either because of the social difficulty they present or because "flirting" involves a degree of flexibility of posture. It is the moment of conquest, the game of seduction, the naughty smile, the blink of an eye or even a simple movement with the head. This can happen to all of us and especially to the person with autism, whose mind is more literal and concrete, but they end up giving it their way and overcoming the problem.
Difference is often seen as a conflict-wielding villain, usually when there is a dispute between truths, needs or desires, leaving no room for a partnership. Already, at other times, difference can be seen as an aggregating and complementary solution in life, the famous half that was lacking. But in reality, difference is nothing more than the existence of individuality.
When someone disappoints us, hurts us, when we lose something important or suffer some injustice, anger and indignation are normal feelings, but the problem is when those feelings turn into hurt and bitterness. In the book "The Power of Forgiveness", the American psychiatrist Fred Luskin, presents his experience and studies on this topic.