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Sex is bad when desire affects behavior and routine

Sex is bad when desire affects behavior and routine

It is more than proven that having an active sex life brings, besides physical pleasure, benefits that reverberate for the whole body even after sex. Males such as migraine, stress, cramps and PMS, for example, lose ground with sexual intercourse. The skin looks more beautiful, and the muscles more relaxed. In the same way, it is quite possible to exist the despisers of sex, including vice there. When habit escapes control and creates self-destructive attitudes and, like addiction to drugs or gambling, it requires treatment. An example of the disease that can de-structure someone's life is the award-winning (and billionaire) American golfer Tiger Woods. A few weeks ago, the athlete apologized to the family publicly after scandals involving more than ten lovers, his wife and a car accident. For 45 days, Woods was admitted to a rehabilitation clinic. "It's hard to admit, but I need help. I still have a long way to go," he said. Before him, other personalities, like the actors Michael Douglas and David Duchovny, already confessed the dependence by sex. But what causes the picture of compulsion? For the psychiatrist Aderbal Vieira Jr., coordinator of the Proad Pathological Treatment Outpatient Clinic (Orientation and Care Program for Dependents), the sex dependent does not have the same characteristics of patients with disorders psychiatric disorders, in which some area of ​​the brain has been affected. The compulsive, in general, lived situations that triggered the excessive search for sex, masturbation or sexual fantasies. "The person seeks a way to settle a pending issue with his past or, having difficulty relating and creating affective bonds, ends up seeing compensation in sex."

According to psychologist and sexual therapist at ISEXP, Arlete Gavranic, the origins of this compulsion may be in infancy. "Children who have gained a lot, are more likely to develop dependency on sex, as a search for a pleasure they did not have. Likewise, those who are not cared for can become dependent on sex, unconsciously seeking compensation. "

Tiger Woods - Photo: Getty Images

Symptoms of compulsion

One of the characteristics of sex addicts is that they are always thinking or fantasizing about sexuality. "They are constant thoughts, which leave the person restless," explains Arlete Gavranic. But how do you know if your behavior is harmless or characterizes compulsion? The therapist clarifies that pathological sex is evident when this desire is to disrupt one's life, preventing it from doing normal activities (work, study, social events, sports, leisure) that require concentration and dedication .

Moreover, it is difficult for the dependent to concentrate on something that is not related to sex. Thus, not only people who have sex can be addicted, but also those who fantasize or masturbate excessively. In the case of masturbation, in extreme cases of addiction, a person may injure the penis or the vagina from stimulating the region. Another clue is when the person interrupts what he is doing - work or study, for example - to masturbate.

The compulsion is also known by other names: erotomania (for men) and nymphomania (in the case of women) . In general, when seeking partners, anxiety occurs at the time of sexual pre-activity, and following orgasm, a sense of guilt or emptiness often follows.

Whoever possessed paraphilia is not necessarily a compulsive. They are a type of sexual behavior in which the source of pleasure is not in the sexual act itself, but in specific objects, situations, or types of partners. This is the case of masochism, fetish for feet, for animals, among many other examples. "Paraphilias exist in the mountains and are not necessarily a sign of dependence on sex. It turns out that the compulsive, do not have control over this type of behavior, sometimes putting themselves in risky situations," says Arlete.Psychotherapeutic treatment is the effective indication for those who accept the idea that they are in difficulties and that alone can hardly solve this problem. The most common is that the patient receives assistance from a physician in conjunction with a psychologist. In some cases, more extreme, there will also be a need for medication prescribed by a psychiatrist.

In Brazil, the largest group of therapy for sex dependents is DASA (Dependents of Love and Sex Anonymous). The entity is based on the twelve-step treatment, as well as Alcoholics Anonymous, working in several states of the country. Anyone can attend the meetings, which are free. Another reference in the treatment of dependence on sex is the Paulista Institute of Sexuality (InPaSex), in the city of São Paulo. Aderbal Vieira also explains that many of the methods used to cure this dependence suggest that abstinence from sex is a way for the patient to be free of compulsion.

The psychiatrist, however, disagrees that abstinence is a good thing. "When we talk about drugs, it makes sense to talk about abstention, because drugs are not something natural for the body like sex. Sex itself is something that is necessary for good health and well-being and, they try to abstinence, they can not maintain it for a long time and they end up frustrated thinking that they will never be released from addiction. "

The following test is used in the diagnosis of the disease by PROAD, from the translation of a test developed by Patrick Carnes in the United States, Ph.D in dependence on sex. If you answer "yes" to more than six questions, you are more likely to have sex dependency. However, the diagnosis must be made by other means, with professional help.

"Pathological sex is evident when this desire is to disrupt a person's life, preventing it from doing normal activities."

PROAD acts in the prevention, research, teaching and care for chemical and non-chemical dependencies (such as addiction to gambling and sex addiction itself).

1. Have you been sexually abused as a child or as a teenager?

2. Have you regularly subscribed or purchased pornographic magazines?

3. Did your parents have sexual problems?

4. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual matters?

5. Do you think your sexual behavior is not normal?

6. Does your spouse (or partner) worry or even complain about your sexual behavior?

7. Is it difficult for you to interrupt your sexual behavior even though it is inappropriate?

8. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior?

9. Has your sexual behavior ever caused problems for you or your family?

10. Have you ever sought help dealing with sexual behaviors you did not like?

11. Have you ever worried about people finding out about your sexual activities?

12. Has anyone ever been emotionally injured due to their sexual behavior?

13. Is any of your sexual activities illegal?

14. Have you ever promised to stop doing something about your sexual behavior?

15. Have you ever made any attempt to interrupt some aspect of your sexual behavior and ended up failing?

16. Do you have to hide from others some aspect of your sexual behavior? 17. Have you ever tried to stop doing something related to your sexual activity?

18. Have you ever thought that your sexual behavior was demeaning? 19. Is sex a way for you to escape your problems?

20. Do you feel depressed after having sex?

21. Have you ever felt a need to stop practicing some form of sexual behavior?

22. Does your sexual activity interfere with your family life?

23. Have you ever had sex with minors?

24. Do you feel that you are controlled by your sexual desire?

25. Do you feel that your sexual desire is stronger than you?


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