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Understand when a lack of sex is a problem in the relationship

Understand when a lack of sex is a problem in the relationship

The human being has in its essence a continuous search for pleasures in life. These pleasures involve the most diverse experiences, intensities and frequencies. We do this by eating, drinking, reading, dancing, dating and in so many other activities, as well as sex. Sexuality has a great responsibility within the idea of ​​being the source of pleasure of an individual, but it is valid to remember that sex is only one of the points of search of pleasure that a person possesses and to know to separate the pleasures of life is a fundamental point to have a healthy sex life. And in spite of so many existing techniques, taboos and tips involving this subject (many of them are well valid and necessary), the relationship that each one will have with the sexual activity in his life will depend on each person and his / her history. is an instinctive and natural act of human beings and is not always necessarily linked to a loving relationship. That is why it is important whenever this issue comes into question, we consider the approach addressed. In addition to the instinctive movements and stimuli that we possess, sex also receives a cultural, social and personal complement and therefore can be seen and lived in different ways.

Thus, talking about sex will not always involve a loving and affective relationship point is usually best accepted or understood when approached by the male route. The hormonal and structural difference of the male organism makes it clear that sexual desire, like the act, need not be related to love, so it is common to hear a man differentiating sex from sex from sex for love. With women, despite the great changes in the concepts of equality, this point is still surrounded and strongly influenced by romantic and affective taboos and in our case, in addition to the difference of organism, women receive cultural stimuli very early redirecting their search for pleasure

Understanding that the basis of our first relationships arises from the experiences we had in childhood (from the earliest stage, as babies, to all experiences experienced with mother, father, brother, relatives, friends, school ...), we can see that the conditions of the environment we are born and grow are often the explanatory basis for a better understanding of our psychic structure and therefore about our desires exposed or repressed. And it is at this point that we can explain a lot about the sexuality of each person: since always the sex of each one is something intimate and very personal and each one will choose (consciously or unconsciously) if it will expose or repress, if it will offer several people or one, whether it will be quiet or daring ...

Usually when we talk about sex, we talk about desire and desire is a very important vital expression in the life of any human being, being the basis for a constructive life and well- be. If we look carefully, one of the reasons why we get involved with someone, going out, dating, getting married is the desire we have for that person and the different attributes she offers us (good chat, animation, companionship, affection, opportunities ...) , as well as the exchange we receive at being wanted.

So we can think that an active and pleasurable sexual life is fundamental to the health and continuous construction of a loving relationship, since it is part of the range of desires

When sex is not involved

There are relationships without sexual desire, where we meet other needs, but these are relationships of good friends, friends, where sexual intimacy possesses Limits. When we talk about friends it seems all right, but when we talk about a couple we must reflect if this relationship does not need some care, because the lack of desire, then the lack of sex, can be an indicator that the relationship has become routine and bureaucratic , it has become a friendship (whether this is good or not), or it may even be based on platonic fantasies that can generate immense anguish or frustration when reality comes to fruition.There are many reasons or reasons to explain the absence of sexual desire in a relationship or in a person and these reasons may be conscious or not, so if you stick to techniques or taboos often does not help, on the contrary only distress the person or the couple, for not being able to change. One of the reasons is the fact that people sometimes redirect their libido to other areas of their lives, such as work, leisure, sports, studies, and they perform immensely with what they do and so do not feel the need to seek pleasure directly in sex . The reverse is also one of the very current causes, excessive activity and heavy hour loadings generate stress and exhaust the body that prefers to sleep or seek other sources of pleasure without much effort, such as watching TV, to recover. desire for the partner is also one of the reasons that interferes in the couple's sexual life and is usually connected in the loss or lack of intimacy between these people. Do not expose or talk about your fears, fears, doubts and shame interferes a lot in performance and this repression can be generated either because one side does not know how to welcome adequately, because they lack tact and affection, or even by taboos of the person who does not own intimacy with yourself.

It is also very important to remember that the sexual disinterest of one partner usually reflects the insecurity in the other partner as well. This partner tends to feel rejected, with fragile self-esteem and a sense of frustration, which can even trigger depressive symptoms or even put the relationship at risk, seeking new sources of pleasure in other activities as well as in other

One way to help oneself and to help the couple, is the search with their own intimacy with one's own body, needs and desires. . This facilitates the possibility of knowing and understanding your pleasure, in the most different forms and intensities. The lack of this knowledge about oneself is limiting, even for the perception and understanding of the body of the other and sex is this exchange of intimacies.

Men and women have different sexual needs and perceptions, so lack of desire should also be considered with the same particularity between the genders.

The lack of male libido is usually sublimated, camouflaged by itself, for men carry a high pressure of virility, strength and power that must be demonstrated and proven in sexuality. For a man to deal with speech of libido is so distressing that sometimes he does not even see it, because he does not accept such possibility and justify with other questions, repressing, as an emotional defense, his confusions and limitations in this area. They end up most often closing in on their anguish, camouflaging popular and generalized ideas and thus dealing with the situation in a solitary way because of the intensity of the embarrassment. Often they tend to seek help only when they have difficulty with erection. It is more common for men to sustain their fantasies and desires over sexual intercourse (quantity and forms of sex) and therefore have difficulty understanding their innermost feelings and thus also to understand the person who is with them. women, the lack or decrease of libido is increasingly assumed and perhaps because of this the feeling of being more frequent, but usually have a much smaller impact than when it occurs with men, since even with lack of desire they tend to continue sexual activity, despite lower frequency and displeasure. The woman carries a culture of serving and having to attend to the other, which can end up weighing and discouraging at the time of sex, and can lead to disinterest.

Our culture preaches many stories of platonic love and blessed, in which sex seems not be necessary or lacking and you have to be very careful with these fantasies, because the human body has high rates of sexual desires and when not understood or recognized, can generate inverse and very frustrating reactions.Thus, knowing the source of the difficulty in the sexual life helps (and much!) The individual and the couple to deal more adequately and comfortably until they find a solution. The sooner they find out what and when it occurs, the greater the chance of a healthy and pleasurable sex life and a very important fact is the union between the couple, the more partners, the greater the care and intimacy and thus increase the chance of understanding, overcoming and sexual fulfillment.

Understanding that sex is something natural is necessary and fundamental to a healthy personal life and the couple's. To assume and realize that they are not well on this subject and seek help, seek to understand where they are disengaging and acquire new knowledge, is synonymous with self love and love present in the couple. It is investing in the future of the relationship!


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